Rules of Anubis
by Wynn-J
Summary: *Set During the Beginning of Season 2* Peddie One-Shot. The boys of Anubis House make it their job to inform new kid Eddie about the unspoken rules of living in their house, from chores ("Dishes- you don't clean them, you don't use them") to girls ("Some are taken - Nina-, some are too busy -Mara-, and some are plain crazy -Patricia-").


There were many things required of Anubis House residents.

One must always wear their uniform on weekdays from breakfast (which is served at 7:30 am every morning Sun-Fri) to curfew (which is the name given to the times from 10 pm to 10:05 pm). No lounging in the school's study hall for more than an hour after or before the bell. If one is sick they must stay in their room until they get better. No running in the house. Everyone has chores and if you refuse to follow them than you have refused to right to receive their benefits (i.e. If one does not do the dishes he will not use them at supper).

Supper is served at 7:30 pm instead of 6 pm due to the 'Amber's Food Diets Pandemic of '09'. You are allowed to return to the house for lunch but only for thirty minutes so don't go thinking you can skip class. Anyone caught disobeying these rules will be subject to the following punishments: cleaning toilets with a tooth brush, detention, cleaning toilets with a tooth brush, early curfew, cleaning toilets with a tooth brush, having to listen to one of Victor's monologues where his stuffed bird gives you that creepy glare, and lastly, cleaning a toilet with a tooth brush.

When the male residents of Anubis had finished this rant to their newest member, he looked up at them, his hazel eyes gleaming with sarcasm.

"You do realize," Eddie stated. "You said that toilet thing like, five times?"

"Four, actually," Alfie corrected, shoving a piece of cake in his face. Eddie looked between the three boys in front of him.

"Any more rules I should know about? Anything extraordinary about this place?" Eddie rolled his eyes. "This house seems like a drag." The boys glanced at one another with knowing looks before Jerome threw his hands up in surrender.

"I'm out." He declared, heading for the kitchen. Eddie thought back to the girl who'd run into him in the student lounge while he was sleeping. What was her name again?

"What about the girls?" Eddie asked curiously. Jerome quickly turned around and sat back on the couch. He smiled wickedly.

"Now _that_ id something interesting." Fabian rolled his eyes and Jerome gestured to him. "What? You're the one who had the great idea to tell him about the house."

"But I meant _rules_." Fabian stated. "Now we're just derailing from the purpose." Alfie looked at Fabian with squinted eyes.

"But girls are always the purpose, aren't they?" Fabian just smiled and sat on the arm rest of the chair. Jerome rubbed his hands together and began the _real_ things to follow in Anubis.

"First things first- the taken." Jerome stated. He nodded towards Fabian. "Nina, she's American like you. Tall, brownish-blonde hair. Obsessed with all things prehistoric and mysterious. She's his." Fabian nodded in agreement.

Eddie couldn't care less. The description didn't match up with the Hermione girl from earlier.

"The there's mine." Alfie pointed out once Jerome was about to move on.

Jerome shook his head. "He _thinks_ she's his but Amber Millington is a girl with high standards. Blonde, rich, daddy's girl, can rock a mini skirt. You know the drill."

Alfie smiled brightly. "The love of my life."

"The love of your dreams." Jerome corrected. Alfie frowned and shoved Jerome before he sat down next to him on the couch. The two chuckled a little before returning back to the conversation. "Next is Mara. Now, what can we say about Mara…"

"She's a genius." Fabian suggested. "She's won Anubis half of its awards."

"Who won the other half?" Eddie question. Judging by Fabian's smug smile, he knew. "Anything else?"

"She's a goodie-two-shoes. In a long-distance relationship with the guy you replaced when you came here so I guess she's taken too." Jerome said this almost as if the fact disappointed him but he quickly moved on. "Next girl?"

"Joy." Alfie nodded. He'd managed to snag a muffin from the kitchen during a break from the conversation and he was eating he while he talked. The others cringed when crumbs flew out of his mouth. "She missed a lot from last year so 'she doesn't really have time for boys' - her words not mine." Alfie swallowed then wiggled his eyebrows. "But she's got the hots for Fabian so she's unavailable."

"She does _not_ like me." Fabian stated. "I'm only tutoring her."

"Riiight." Alfie smiled. "Get your game on, Rutter." Fabian rolled his eyes, knowing there was no use in arguing with him.

"Any others?" Eddie asked, trying to hide his eagerness. "Red hair, green eyes…" The boys grew silent. They all stared at Eddie, Jerome actually looking as if he felt sorry for him. "What?" he asked.

"Poor thing," Jerome shook his head. "You think he has a chance?"

"No way," Alfie shook his head, taking another bite of his muffin. "He'll be gone by the end of the week."

Fabian clapped Eddie on the back. "It was nice knowing you." Fabian said sorrily.

"What are you all talking about?" Eddie looked from one boy to the other but they were already discussing his demise.

"She'll probably spear him on a stick and eat him for breakfast, the witch."

"You think we should help him escape?"

"And have her come after us? We can't!" Eddie stood from the couch and looked at his new housemates with exasperated annoyance.

"_What_ are you going on about?" The boys looked at each other once more before Jerome stood and placed his arms on Eddie shoulders.

"Now, this girl couldn't have been about 5'3''. Sixteen? Always seen with a scowl on her face?"

Eddie nodded. "That's her alright."

"And you've already met her without the proper knowledge." Jerome shook his head. "You didn't talk, did you? Please, for the love of God, tell me you didn't open her mouth."

Eddie shrugged. "We might have had an argument…" The boys cringed in sync. Jerome shook his head.

"Edison Miller, I'm afraid you've met…_Trixie._"

"Trixie?" Eddie squinted his eyes. "Her parents had the audacity to name her that?"

"Her name's Patricia." Fabian nodded. "We don't really know how the name got started up, all Joy tells us is that it was when they were really young."

"That's her partner in crime." Alfie shook his head. "They used to get to me over the years."

Eddie laughed. "They cannot be _that_ bad."

"Don't think like that!" Jerome scolded. "That's what we all thought when we moved into this house- two innocent girls. Attractive, too." Alfie nodded in agreement. "But that's how they pull you in. The last boy who tried to get Trixie's attention ended up transferring…to _public_ school."

Fabian and Alfie shuddered behind Jerome for affect.

Eddie scoffed at them. "You're telling me this girl's some kind of monster?"

"No, not monster." Jerome stated. "But she's crazy. Insane."

"That I am!" The boys yelled and jumped apart at seeing Patricia standing in the door way to the living room with a smile on her face. Beside her, Joy had her arms crossed, her smile identical. Patricia sent a scowl towards Eddie. "Kruger,"

"Hermione," he pitched back. "The guys were just telling me about your charming effect on the student body at this place."

Patricia rolled her eyes. "If only there was someone here who could've warned me about your horrible affects."

Eddie scoffed. "Please! I'm actually a catch if you got to know me."

Patricia stepped forward and pretended to look curious. "Do you wake up, look yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself that hair cut is working for you? It looks like you've been electrocuted."

"If only. That way I wouldn't have to hear your constant yacking."

"Better than you horrible interpretation of a British accent." Patricia tilted her head and smiled. "Try to stay out of my way."

"Whatever you say, Yacker." Joy scoffed and rolled her eyes with Patricia before the two turned for the kitchen and started grabbing soda's from the fridge.

"By the way," Patricia said on their way out. "You all missed third period. They sent us here to see what was holding you up." Fabian jumped off the couch and rand for his book bag on the opposite side of the room.

Alfie asked, "And you're just now telling us?"

"I was distracted by stupidity." Patricia shrugged, frowning at Eddie and walking to the door, Joy bouncing with her.

"See you at tutoring!" Joy called out to Fabian as the door closed. The boys ran after them towards the school but they were up ahead, too far to hear them.

"I can't believe she didn't stab you with a fork." Alfie shook his head. "She did that to me when I hogged the bathroom when we were 14."

"She's got a soft spot for me." Eddie said smugly. Suddenly a soda can whizzed toward them and smacked Eddie in the face. The cold wetness sprayed on them all and they heard giggles from up ahead, closer to the school.

"Obviously," Jerome sneered down at the spots forming on his uniform. "New rule for Anubis residents- if you're going to piss of Patricia, give us a head warning so we won't be next to you when the bomb drops." Eddie wiped the grape soda off his face.

"She can't be _that_ bad." He noted.

"Oh, really?" Alfie asked. "You should see her at the table when there's a pitcher of water."

Eddie raised an eyebrow. "What happens then?" Fabian shook his head and marched in front of them, leaving them behind. Alfie smiled. Jerome patted Eddie on the back.

"Oh, trust me, by the rate you're going," Jerome chuckled. "You'll find out soon."

* * *

**First of many Peddie one shots! Not my best idea but there'll be others. Thanks for reading!**


End file.
